No pets left behind when Rapture comes

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In a not quite tongue-in-cheek attempt to make a buck off “the Rapture,” an enterprising atheist has offered to care for pets left behind when believers ascend to heaven.
On his Web site (http://eternal-earthbound-pets.com/) Bart Centre, a New Hampshire retiree, addresses those who may be concerned about leaving Fido in the lurch during Judgment Day.
“You’ve committed your life to Jesus. You know you’re saved. But when the Rapture comes what’s to become of your loving pets who are left behind? Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind … Our service is plain and simple; our fee structure is reasonable. For $110 we will guarantee that should the Rapture occur within ten (10) years of receipt of payment, one pet per residence will be saved. Each additional pet at your residence will be saved for an additional $15 fee. A small price to pay for your peace of mind and the health and safety of your four-legged and feathered friends.”
As Bloomberg reported this morning, the money hasn’t exactly poured in, but Centre has put it to better use than cynics might expect, donating the proceeds from his ads on Google to local food banks.

4 Responses to No pets left behind when Rapture comes

  1. John,
    Thanks for picking up the story about our post rapture pet rescue business..

    But, besides the ad money from Google going to food banks here in NH, and my business partner’s town in MN, we have brought in over $15k in pure profit. While not a gold mine just yet, it is extra pockret change for our pet rescue cadre and my partner and I.

    Not easy getting believers to trust godless heathens with their pets, even if it means the poor pets’ alternative is starvation when their owner beams up to heaven . But many of them write to say they could care less what happens to their beloved pets once they themselves are hobnobing with Jesus. Sad.

    Again, thanks.
    Yours in reason,
    Bart Centre
    aka Dromedary Hump
    eternal-earthbound-pets@msn.com
    atheistcamelchronicles@msn.com

    Bart
    February 9, 2010 at 1:21 pm

  2. If there be any animals in heaven they will not come from earth. The Bible states that the human spirit goes upward to God the Creator while the spirit of beasts (animals) go with the body back to the earth from which they came. No pets will accompany Christians on their heavenly journey.
    Thanks and GOD BLESS….. Phil Jellerson

    Phil Jellerson
    February 9, 2010 at 8:37 pm

  3. Phil,
    Thanks for that important info.

    If there be animals in heaven, and they are presumed to be from somewhere other than Earth, perhaps you can contact me and tell me from whence they come?

    I would be willing to take my business interplanetary if it represents an enhanced business opportunity.

    Thanks
    Bart
    eternal-earthbound-pets@msn.com

    Bart
    February 10, 2010 at 9:42 am

  4. One has to wonder if God might find the pets more interesting than the “enraptured.”

    Carl Peraino
    February 11, 2010 at 2:20 pm