‘American Dream’

Filed under: Opinion,Print |

By Scott Smith and Doug Quimby

Editor’s note: The writers, both executives at La Plata Communities, crafted the following parody of Don McLean’s hit song “American Pie” with hopes that he would forgive their trespasses.

A long, long time ago, I can still remember,

How that market used to make me smile.

And I knew if I had my chance,

I could make my project dance,

And maybe I’d be happy for a while.

But October ‘08 made me shiver

With every newsflash they’d deliver.

Bad news on the Dow Jones

Way too many bad loans.

I don’t remember if I cried

When I read about the bailout tried,

But something touched me deep inside

The day the market died. I started singin’

Farewell the American Dream

Drove my Lexus to the nexus but no buyers were seen.

And seller reps were drinking coffee, no cream

Singing this will be the day that I’m reamed,

This will be the day that I’m reamed.

Did you live for selfish need

And do you have faith in Wall Street greed

Cuz Bernie Madoff told you so

Do you reject all self-control

Has money seared your mortal soul

And can you teach me how to die real slow

Now I know that you’re in love with cash

Cuz I saw your ethics in the trash

You never thought you’d lose

Now the whole world has the blues

I was a wealthy, middle-aged broncin’ buck,

With a modest debt load and a fleet of trucks,

But I knew that I was out of luck,

The day the market died. And they were singin’

Farewell the American Dream

Drove my Lexus to the nexus but no buyers were seen.

And seller reps were drinking coffee, no cream

Singing this will be the day that I’m reamed,

This will be the day that I’m reamed.

For seven years we ruled the day

Then conservatism lost its way

And now we haven’t got a clue.

With GM’s bailout and Lehman’s crash

Fiscal prudence did not last,

And we became France real fast.

And when I hear those blowhards talk

It makes me want to clean their clock

They’re always telling lies

We shouldn’t be surprised.

While Obama read a book on Marx,

The Congress circled us like sharks,

And we sat clueless in the dark,

The day the market died. We were singin’

Farewell the American Dream

Drove my Lexus to the nexus but no buyers were seen.

And seller reps were drinking coffee, no cream

Singing this will be the day that I’m reamed,

This will be the day that I’m reamed.

Helter skelter in the summer swelter

Healthcare flew from Obama’s welter

But no one knew the law that passed.

Cap and tax lying in the grass

While low taxes have no chance to last

With opponents on the sideline, looking gassed.

The air was filled with sweet perfume

The faithful sang their naïve tune

They all got up to dance

Now they really had their chance

When the old guard tried to hold the field

The faithful all refused to yield

Do you recall what was revealed,

The day the market died? They were singin’

Farewell the American Dream

Drove my Lexus to the nexus but no buyers were seen.

And seller reps were drinking coffee, no cream

Singing this will be the day that I’m reamed,

This will be the day that I’m reamed.

Now here we are all in one place

A market system lost in space

But some time left to start again.

Obama’s still there, Reid’s insane,

Though Boehner took Nancy’s fancy plane

Class warfare’s still the liberals’ favorite plan.

When I watch them on TV

I fear, not long, we won’t be free.

No capitalist there today can stop this leftist sway.

The shouts climbed higher into the night

To fuel the sacrificial rite

I heard Barney laughing with delight

The day the market died. And I was singin’

Farewell the American Dream

Drove my Lexus to the nexus but no buyers were seen.

And seller reps were drinking coffee, no cream

Singing this will be the day that I’m reamed,

This will be the day that I’m reamed.

I met a broker who sang the blues

And asked her for some happy news.

She just frowned and turned away

I went down to my project’s core

Where I heard the music years before

But a man there said the buyers wouldn’t buy.

Out in the street the builders screamed,

The bankers cried and the moguls schemed,

Not a word was spoken

The back-up bells were broken

The three men I admired most,

Greenspan, Friedman and Adam Smith’s ghost

They took the last train for the coast,

The day the market died. They were singin’

Farewell the American Dream

Drove my Lexus to the nexus but no buyers were seen.

And seller reps were drinking coffee, no cream

Singing this will be the day that I’m reamed,

This will be the day that I’m reamed.