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Big bucks for the city!

Fri, May 28, 2010

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You have to give our often – maligned city credit for a certain entrepreneurial spirit for launching the parking-stripe advertising initiative. The red adhesive strips add a certain panache to downtown parking, and it may be that the city has found a permanent, if modest, source of revenue.

In an attempt to be helpful, here are a few revenue – generating opportunities to supplement the stripes.

-Pattern mowing. We can’t afford to mow the parks regularly, so why not mow corporate logos into the tall grass? They’d be striking, highly visible and lucrative! Instead of dull, one size fits all, shorn lawns, we’d have corporate crop circles! Kids could play on the mowed logos, while wildlife could cavort in the tall grass. Moms and dads might have to keep the little ones from straying into wild areas – Mr. Coyote and Mr. Rattlesnake are always looking for a meal!

-Small digital billboards mounted on stoplights. Talk about a captive audience: when the light turns red, your message is right there for dozens of drivers. What an opportunity for developers, bar owners and merchants! “Just one more block, and you can pull over for a quick one at Joe’s Bar & Grill.”

-Tollbooths to promote suburban sustainability. Too bad, Mr. and Mrs. Suburban Homeowner, but we’ve got you where you live! Our automated booths are here 24/7, rain or shine. Just throw in a few quarters coming and going, and pretty soon you’ll be minimizing trips, saving gas and living a green, responsible life!

-Shakedown stops. Forget these DUI stops! Just have the cops pull everybody over and take the cash. And if they don’t have cash, you bring along a portable ATM. Easier and more reliable than a breathalyzer, and better for everybody concerned. If you’ve had a couple of shots, you know you’re not drunk –right? – so wouldn’t it be comforting to know that all you have to do is cough up $50 for the city budget, and you’re on your way?

Those are just a few constructive ideas. Readers, can you contribute?

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4 Comments For This Post

  1. Gary Boles Says:

    I have proposed to both the city and the state that they should put a sales tax on internet sales. Internet sales damage the small businesses in the Springs, as customers would rather order on line than to pay sales tax for their purchases with local retailers. It is a win-win situation for both the retailer and the government.

  2. Liam Says:

    I don’t think I should have to pay sales taxes on an item I perhaps can’t buy locally, and bought from an out-of-state business that does not use any of our local/state resources (roads, bridges, parks, police, fire, etc.?) We already pay sales tax on Internet purchases from businesses based in CO.

    How about:

    -Pay toilets in the parks?
    -Swipe devices on street lights (like the downtown parking meters) so we can buy time on the ones we want to keep on.

  3. Rick Wehner Says:

    Let’s wait for that guy to come back from Dubais before we panic. The Arabs might ‘adopt’ us and provide a heavy cash infusion of petro-dollars.

    Oh wait! He went to an area broker than we are./

  4. Joe Says:

    Unfortunately, CSPD is already very effective at shakedown stops. Hiding just around the bend, just over the hill, or just behind the speed limit sign. Bad boys, bad boys. Whatcha gonna do?