Small Business Blog

Colorado Springs is known for many things, but among the business community it is perhaps known best for networking.

Networking, however, is something that seems to elude many of the business owners who seem to be happy settling for the middle of the pack.

I suspect this is because It makes some people feel uncomfortable. They’re shy. They have a fear of rejection, or they just don’t like doing it.

The reason itself I believe has but one cause. People haven’t recognized the alternative yet.

As a much younger and more naïve business man living in Tulsa, Okla., I attended my first ever networking event.

A freshly pressed suit and the best tie I owned didn’t calm the butterflies in my stomach.

With sweaty palms I looked for a friendly face, anyone I knew so I could cling to them and hide in their shadow.

It wasn’t until the introductions began that an energetic man stood up and with his Middle Eastern accent spoke the words of truth that I still use today to overcome my reluctance to networking.

He said, “Networking is better than not working.”

No matter how uncomfortable, afraid or silly you may feel trying to network, it is always better than finding yourself with no work to do at all.

I’ve let his words become my own and now every time I enter a room of people and begin to feel those butterflies, I speak the words to myself, “Networking is better than not working.”

Now, to bring this all to a point, let me share five of the lessons I’ve learned about networking.

1. Networking is about getting something out of someone that you want, but you can never - NEVER - think, act, talk or project anything remotely close to showing that.

In truth, we network with others because we want to benefit from what they have or who they know. But you can never let on that that’s your objective.

People know fake right away and they don’t like it.

Your primary objective must always be that you want to help them. You know people they don’t know and you have things that they don’t have. You just have to convince yourself that you have something worthwhile that they need.

2. You have to have something to offer the other person. If you don’t, it’s not called networking, it’s called leeching.

Beyond just believing that you have something for the other person, you must actually offer something. This is where creativity plays a giant role.

People often make the mistake of thinking that all they have to offer is their products and services. In reality that’s about the smallest thing you have to offer. If someone mentions that they are having a stressful day because their car broke down, suggest a mechanic that you know is honest. If they mention problems with their teenage daughter, tell them about the book you just read or the conference you just attended that dealt with that same issue. Even send them a copy of the book if it seems appropriate. By doing this, you’ve become an invaluable resource for them and when the time comes for them to need your products or services, chances are you’ll be their resource for that as well.

3. Networking is not a time for controversy or conflict.

Think of it as meeting your future in-laws. There are just some things that you never want to bring up during that first dinner. Politics, gossip and deep frustrations are perfect examples. Why? Because you don’t know where they are going to fall on these topics and you haven’t earned their trust and understanding yet to solidify your fragile relationship if you do have a difference of opinion. I never lie about my beliefs, but I often avoid or redirect until we’ve established trust.

I often refer to it as first date conversations. On a first date, making peaceful conversation about their interests is much more beneficial than a heated debate on the latest amendment to be made by the city council if your hope is getting a second date.

Conversations like that are great to have, but only after much trust and understanding has been established. And of course some topics are never appropriate no matter how many dates you’ve been on.

Even after 15 years of marriage and an infinite amount of trust, those jeans would never make my wife’s butt look fat, so be cautious about the kind of conversations you venture into on your first networking date or it may be your last.

4. Think solution oriented.

Every person, company and organization has a problem. Be a trouble shooter. Ask the question “What can I do to help you?” This opens them up to voicing problems they need help with. You probably won’t be able to cut them a check for $3 million to get them out of debt, but you can suggest a solution or a person who has the solution.

5. Assume they will want to meet you.

Never apologize for bothering someone. You aren’t bothering them. In all honesty, most people are glad to grab coffee or lunch. It breaks up their otherwise monotonous day. If you assume they want to meet you it will keep you positive.

When you assume you are an inconvenience, it puts you at a disadvantage because your whole demeanor becomes weak and cowardly as you make excuses for troubling them.

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